tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-679982583847135662.post5539440609424872888..comments2022-07-27T00:08:13.293-07:00Comments on The Original Dragon Mother: Growing out of tantrumsKazhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06883203750700550391noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-679982583847135662.post-16798911008970068332015-10-29T20:22:22.158-07:002015-10-29T20:22:22.158-07:00That's exactly how I arrived at these methods,...That's exactly how I arrived at these methods, in the end, Jodie - so I could reduce the chances that I'd get cranky and lose it, which wasn't going to fix the situation, and was going to add to my already considerable stresses...and with a chronic illness in the mix, it just doesn't do to go there. <br />I think I did write the odd note to that effect at one point - fuzzy memory! I know I was in pretty regular contact with the boys' schools, particularly No.2, so usually we were all on the same page, which is so very important. Kazhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06883203750700550391noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-679982583847135662.post-40147011328980445802015-10-29T20:09:32.361-07:002015-10-29T20:09:32.361-07:00Agree with the logical consequences. I have been k...Agree with the logical consequences. I have been known to use the same methods; e.g. in your example, I probably would have written the note, but with exactly what you had said there: "didn't do their homework because they made poor choices/time planning/didn't listen to reminders etc." I have actually done that with teachers, letting them know that the family gave the child ample opportunities to get their work done and the wrong choice was made. The note is always accompanied by either a phone call or email to the teacher to explain the circumstances and let them know that I am fine with any reasonable consequences that may occur from the homework not being done.<br />I found the two-prong attack (home+school) reinforced the lesson and we rarely had a recurrence of the issue. When parents and teachers sing the same tune, it leaves little opportunity for shrewd teens to manipulate them too. No point in lying about what happened because we all know!<br />The other benefit of this style of parenting is that I didn't have to get angry or lose my cool. It was all matter-of-fact logic (as you point out). Any major emotional stress from getting angry would only worsen my chronic illness and the only loser would be me. That's unsustainable so I certainly agree with your methods, Kaz.Jodiebodiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11377052537742885631noreply@blogger.com