So, what is a flare, and what can you do when one hits?
Flaring is the term we use when the disease does a sudden ramp up in activity - resulting in increased pain, fatigue, that fluey feeling that isn't flu, extra dryness if you're prone to dry eyes and/or mouth, possible skin irritations, and any number of other disease symptoms. Sometimes a flare can give you a bit of warning with symptoms increasing over a few days. Other times - as happened to me on Sunday - you go to bed at night, and then wake up the next morning with one on full bore and just getting out of bed poses your first obstacle of the day.
What can you do?
First up, refer to your pain management plan. For me, since my pain management review with my GP a little while back (you can read about that HERE), that meant upping the dose of Tramadol in my morning meds from 50mg to 100mg to boost the overall coverage, on top of what the Fentanyl patch offers. I waited for that to kick in before I reassessed, as I have Endone on hand as well - short acting - to add another level, if required. It was, so I took that mid morning, and later in the day. And again at bed time, again a few times Monday, but didn't need it yesterday or today, although I'm still using the extra Tramadol at this point as the flare is slowly - oh SO slowly - easing.
Try - and this will sound counter-intuitive - try not to just go back to bed. Even though it hurts to move, if you don't move at all, you will seize up, and that just makes things MUCH worse when you do have to move. I did eventually park myself in a nest of pillows on the couch by Sunday afternoon, again Monday afternoon, and yesterday afternoon. BUT, I got myself up, showered and dressed - with significant rest periods between all of those things - each day. Dragon Dad brought me coffee from down the road on Sunday morning - I couldn't face the drive there - all 800m of it...that's how bad I was at that stage. Monday, I had to get myself to the GP for a new Fentanyl script, and then across to the chemist to pick it up. THAT little excursion was planned with military precision, and included a rest stop at my local cafe before getting in the car and driving to the chemist to get the prescription sorted. I crashed for the rest of the day before making a very simple dinner for Dragon Dad and I... Today, I've been up all day, I've been out, I've managed to do some work that came in - allowing for the fact that this is all extremely low key activity. I didn't get to tai chi last night - I knew by the end of the day that a 6.30pm class was just not going to be possible, and I'd have had to have slept in a corner of the school hall because driving home afterwards would have been a no go! So, do get up and keep yourself moving gently through the days. Do some gentle stretches, if you can, to ease potential muscle spasms.
Eat well. Again, there's effort involved, unless you've got the funds to order in meals for a few days. But there are simple ways to maintain your nutrition that don't take too much effort. Read this post for some of my hacks and strategies. Money has been exceedingly tight for some little while now, so I've been pushed right to the extreme edge of inventiveness and ingenuity to manage low effort meals that are sufficient to feed Dragon Dad who's working very long, tough hours and really needs good solid meals that are enjoyable as well as sustaining.
Say no. A big flare is when you cancel, or say no to requests from people to do stuff. You DO need to rest and look after yourself. It's the time to ask for help too - if there's something you do have to do that can't be rescheduled, call someone and ask if they can drive you - if you're taking a lot of extra analgesia, that may be essential. If you've got someone in town briefly and you'll miss them if you don't make the effort to meet up, see if they can come to you - remember, they're not visiting your house to inspect your housekeeping, they're coming to spend time with you. If people offer to help, say yes, and give them specific things to do that will help you manage your day - ie, bringing food, transport, minding kids, etc.
Leave the housework - from years of experience, and living with kids, I know that if I don't get to household chores one day, they will wait patiently until the next day, and the next and the one after that! The fly in the ointment for me with that one, is that if it's something that really gets up Dragon Dad's nose, he'll quite likely do it - he can't handle the dishes sitting around, for instance...but won't stack the dishwasher, so he ends up washing them by hand!
Lastly, DO NOT feel guilty. You didn't make the flare happen. You didn't, for that matter, cause your disease. You can't help flares - they happen, it's part and parcel of RA. So you have nothing to feel guilty about. And anyone who tries to make you feel guilty is not someone you need to have around you - during a flare, or just in general.
The bottom line is to look after yourself - during a flare, you need to coddle yourself, because you'll be feeling like crap. Just go gently, binge read, catch up on TV you've missed, watch a movie, drink a lovely glass of wine with your dinner (it'll help stimulate your appetite!), and wait it out. I'm on day four, and the flare is easing. Still more pain than usual, and I have absolutely no stamina, but it's better than it was on Sunday and Monday, by a long way.
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